If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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