I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
