She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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