you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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