just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A bitchslap is in order.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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