community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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