hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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