you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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