wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I need water and some morals
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize