Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
