Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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