I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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