Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
foreskin is a definite game changer
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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