I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love having hate sex.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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