Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
