u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
