yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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