no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
