yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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