guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
