Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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