i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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