Got a toothbrush?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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