i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
