i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
