He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
