hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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