They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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