dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
