he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
