So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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