Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
