what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize