i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
