??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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