I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
