the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
