I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
