Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
