I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
