the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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