This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
