There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
