you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
