your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
