This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
