Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
