Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
