On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize