come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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