i permit you to call me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
