About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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