pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
