How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
