Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
