YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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