Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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