we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
