he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
