I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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